Interesting Quotations

Here are some interesting quotations I have gathered from different sources:

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he's a mile away and barefoot.

Buy land - they've stopped making it.

If you freeze to death and end up in hell... wouldn't you be really comfortable some point along the way?

If you live like there's no God... you'd better be right.

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.

I don't want to believe, I want to know.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

After heat killed bad germs, where do they go? Obviously not in heaven, since they've been bad. Surely then can't go to hell, for the heat would kill them again!

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again.

5 out of 4 people don't understand fractions.

A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.

Customer: I'm running Windows '98 Tech: Yes. Customer: My computer isn't working now. Tech: Yes, you said that.

The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it's true.

It's too bad that ignorance isn't painful.

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

A man generally has two reasons for doing a thing. One that sounds good, and a real one.

A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart but he's not very bright.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs, a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn't.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

A group of psychologists say they have discovered twenty-three different body language indicators that show whether or not a person is lying. If you would like to see all twenty-three at the same time, they recommend taking a guided tour of the White House.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

I don't read books, but I have friends who do. George W. Bush

I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada. Britney Spears

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted: I am Napoleon! Another one said: How do you know? The first inmate said: God told me! A voice from another room shouted: I did NOT!

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.

It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument.

Every time I paint a portrait I lose a friend.